Insanity
by tinjhi10
Summary: Being with him was madness. Yes he would hold me, love me but he would never stay with me. Being with him drives me to insanity. Written in Fuji's Pov. Warning! lots of lemon and Office Smut! TeFu


**Hi guys! This is just one of my random fics that suddenly popped out on my head.., hahaha.. Sorry for the weirdness and such. I hope you guys still like it though… I tried to put in a bit of angst but it still ended up in drama lol.**

**I always seem to have drama in my stories… maybe it's because I'm somewhat a drama queen as well ^__^ hahaha.. **

**Well anyways, hope you'll enjoy the story…**

**PS. I own nothing!!!!**

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I gazed up at deep hazel eyes that seem to swallow me up, so intense and fierce but at the same time gentle.

I felt his hands hold me tightly and I couldn't help but flinch at the sudden contact. His skin felt like fire on mine. My body was burning with desire as I waited for him to move but he didn't. He merely stood there, watching me with a hint of playfulness.

I hissed at him in annoyance for making me wait.

I wanted him.

_I wanted him now!_

Somehow he finally got the message as he leaned forward and captured my lips. No matter how many times we have kissed I still can't get enough of it. Every brush, lick and sucking made my head spin with lust.

Only he could have such an effect on me. Only he could stir up this desire hidden beneath me.

I could feel his tongue explore my mouth and couldn't help but chuckle as I fought for dominance. I love the way our tongues are battling, tasting one another in the heat of passion. His kisses are enough to drive me to my limits.

_Just like now._

I'm at my limits. I've crossed the line but I couldn't care less. I wanted nothing more than to be with him, here, in his arms. Only at such time do I feel so much secure and loved.

I gasped as I was pushed to the desk, I could feel the intensity and desire hidden beneath opaque spectacles.

I could clearly hear his erratic breathing as he hastily opened up the buttons of my shirt.

I chuckled softly as he carelessly threw my shirt on the floor and continued kissing me, leaving me so breathless.

I knew that what we were doing was wrong but at the moment it feels as if it's the most right thing to do. I gazed up at him. Lust clearly shown in my blue eyes.

Right now I wouldn't care, I'll pretend that I'm doing nothing wrong because this is the only way to keep me sane.

I've lost myself somewhere the day we were parted. And I've finally regained back what I lost so I couldn't care less.

_Is it so wrong to be selfish for once?_

I have given up my whole life before, don't I deserve a bit of happiness too?

"Syusuke.." I hear him moan.

I smiled softly as I pulled him closer closing the gap once more, this time harder, more intense than before.

I could feel him stiffen at the sudden action but soon started to respond as he opened the zipper of my pants. I let out a soft gasp as I felt his hand sneak inside my briefs playing softly and teasingly with my now hardened errection.

I tried to control my voice although I know that no one would come at that time even though we were at the office. He pulled my pants down along with my brief as he started to pump on my cock with a fast rhythm. I let out small gasps as I pulled his face closer to mine, I grasped on his hair trying to control myself.

He felt so good.

_So damn good._

He looked up on me as if asking me if I were ready. I merely nodded. I wanted him.

He slowly inserted a finger on my hole and I started quivering. My whole body was trembling, I couldn't hold back my desires as he soon inserted another finger to stretch me more. I could feel his own throbbing member poking from beneath his pants and I smiled lazily at him. I slowly stood up from the desk. I pushed him to the table and made him sit on top of it.

I could see the puzzled look on his face but I merely grinned playfully. I knelt down in front of him and pulled down the zipper of his pants using my teeth.

I could see the disbelief on his face as I played with clothed member, teasing it slowly and playfully until it hardened.

I took out the flesh from his brief and he shuddered at the sudden contact with the coolness of the air. I grinned mischievously at him as I took him in my mouth. He let out a soft cry as I began to lick the top.

I could feel his breathing become heavier as he tried to hold on to his bit of sanity. But I wouldn't allow it. I would push him to his limits, break him and make him lose control.

_Just as he had done to me._

"Syusuke, stop… I want to come together" he breathed out.

I smiled and gave his cock one last playful lick as I once again took hold of his sweet tasting mouth.

We kissed like that for a few more minutes, tongues licking and sucking everywhere. We didn't care anymore, this was what we both wanted and desired. Until now we have always been holding back our emotions but we've both finally snapped.

I was once again pushed to the desk and I watched with anxiety as he gave his own cock a few pump before slowly pushing it on my ass hole. I squirmed at the sudden sensation and held onto his back tightly. My nails were digging the flesh of his back but he didn't seem to mind. The pain seemed so distant right now.

I gasped frantically as he pushed forward, his thick cock filling me up. It felt so good. Once I felt him enter me fully he started to move slowly at first. He gave soft and small thrusts adjusting to the tightness.

As soon as we both got used to it he started moving faster. I moaned at every thrust which became faster and frantic by the second. Our bodies jiving with one another as we both gasped on the sensation, I let out loud moans as he hit my sensitive spot. He moved quicker and I knew he was at his limit as well, his thrust were jerkier, nearly desperate. I cling onto him tighter as he hit my sensitive spot over and over again, the feeling was so damn good and I couldn't hold myself back longer and came. My cum splattered all over my abdomen and on his hands as well as he was pumping it.

Soon after he came as well as I tightened around his flesh. He came inside me but I didn't care. I like it that way. I love the feeling of us being connected like this.

As soon as he climaxed he collapsed on top of me. We remained that way for a few more minutes. I let out a soft smile as I brush the strands of hair on his face.

We were both panting like hell as though we've been running those impossible laps during middle school.

But those were a few years ago. Now was different and I know full well that I could never bring those times back again.

Even if we are together now I know that the bliss of being able to make love like this was only temporary. After a hot steamy sex comes the realization and regret.

I let out a soft bitter smile as I felt something warm on my neck and the smile on my face faded.

_He finally broke down._

_I could feel it._

"I'm sorry" he muttered.

I felt as though I've been stabbed by a knife. I patted his head softly to calm him down.

I ushered him to stop crying but he didn't, he continued to bury his face on my neck as he held on tightly.

No matter how much he apologizes it wouldn't change the fact that we are both hurting right now.

I looked at the clock and smiled bitterly. I pulled away from him and gave him a soft smile.

"You should go home now, I'm sure your family is waiting for you" I said.

He stopped for a moment and we both put on our clothes without speaking another word.

I watched his back intently as I remembered the days where I usually hug him so tightly. I felt my heart crush with the memories.

Suddenly his phone rang, he picks it up and from the tone of his voice I knew it was his wife calling. I felt my heart clench and break as I listened to him.

I wanted to go over to him and grab the phone. I wanted to tell his wife that Kunimitsu once belonged to me.

It was so painful to have this kind of relationship and even while knowing that ours was an illicit affair I still fell in love all over again. I feel so guilty for having an affair with a married man but I couldn't help it. I am so totally in love with this man. I couldn't forget him even after so many years.

I feel so pathetic for being like this. We both know that what we are doing is wrong and cruel but hasn't the world been so cruel to us as well?

From the beginning it had been the two of us but then we had to be separated by fate. And fate had given him a family to take responsibility of. And I have been left alone to endure the pain.

He would never know the same pain that I am feeling. He has no idea how much it hurts to be so near to him yet so far away. It was torture to be by his side and not have him completely.

It gave me sleepless nights and more heartache with everyday that passes by.

But fate can be such a bitch. It brought me back to him but not completely. Even though I know he loves me it's still not enough because he isn't with me.

I know it sounds so selfish but I don't want to share him with anyone else. I want him to be mine completely as I am his.

So here we are now, stuck in this kaleidoscope of feelings, not really sure where we stand right now.

Because no matter how much he loves me I know his pride and honor would never allow him to divorce his wife.

_And that's the pain of falling in love._

Once we were fully clothed and organized again we returned back to our business like attitudes. He was the boss and I'm the secretary.

It almost felt like we weren't the same persons a few minutes ago who made love so passionately on the desk.

"I'll see you tomorrow…" I muttered knowing that he had to go home now.

"Ah. I'll see you tomorrow" he replied and began to walk to door. He halted just before he could go out but he didn't turn around.

"I'm really sorry for all the pain I'm causing you…" he whispered and closed the door.

I felt myself tremble as I couldn't hold back my emotions as my knees went weak and I slumped to the floor. I finally let the tears fall that I have been containing for some time.

_Damn you._

_Why do you keep on hurting me this way?_

_It hurts._

_It hurts so much…_

I grasped on my chest tightly as I let out all of my pain hoping to at least impede some of the hurt. The pain was overwhelming and it was breaking me, driving me to the edge of falling.

Being with him was madness. Yes he would hold me, love me but he would never stay with me. Being with him drives me to insanity.

And the most painful thing is that I kept on holding to this insanity in order for me to remain sane.

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**I've finished it… and just reminding you guys.. I just wrote this on a whim… hahaha.. so sorry if it isn't much good… but I still hope you liked it.. hehehe… I'll be updating captive soon too!! Hehehe.. **

**For now please review.. it would mean so much to me… ^_____^**


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